Grieving a Great Loss

On Tuesday, November 13th at 1:17 pm, my (Shelly) dad passed away unexpectedly. His health hasn't been the best for the past few years, but we still didn't realize how little time he had left with us. We miss his humor and his love. His greatest joy was his grandchildren Jayde, Sage, Isaiah, Kayla, Hailey, Ashlynn, and he was long awaiting to meet his newest Granddaughter, Jiang Ting. He may have never met her but she will know who her Grandpa John was. I (Shelly) wrote a letter to my dad that I read during his funeral on November 16th. I wanted to share it on this post to any that would happen to read this. I loved my dad and I miss him dearly...

Dad – As I ponder words to say today, I can only wish you were here to hear them. But I write to your memory and to my dad whom I dearly loved.

Many memories came flooding back to me when I found out you left us. Early memories such as when I was just 3 or 4 years old and I would wait with great anticipation for you to come home from work. As soon as I saw you come through the door I would jump up and grab you with wild abandonment and hug you tightly. What I wouldn’t give to do that right now.

I know, Dad that we’ve had some serious strains in our relationship during my lifetime – but right now all I can think about are the good times. Silly fun times like when you would take us kids sledding and we would stay out all day. So long that icicles would form on your moustache. You would let us ride down the icy, snowy hill on your back. We would go flying down that hill and you would end up with a face full of snow that made us laugh so hard. I’m sure you were sore, but you never said a word because we were having fun. Or the time when I was a teenager and I went for my drivers license exam. You were at home waiting to hear if I had actually passed. When I got home and told you that I did, you jumped right over our fence and swept me in a huge embrace – you were so proud. And of course the more serious times like when I had to tell you I was pregnant, I was unmarried and only 18. I was so scared to tell you the news, but when I finally did you didn’t get angry or even lecture me. You just hugged me tightly and told me it will be alright, were those tears I saw in your eyes Dad? Oh how fiercely you loved your first grandchild, Jayde. He was your pride and joy. He loved you too, Dad, I hope you knew that. I remember years later when Sage came it was the same, you couldn’t wait to see him and hold him and again when Isaiah came, you poured your love and adoration into them. I wish my boys could have spent more time getting to know you Dad. You were such a wonderful Grandpa and they could have learned so much from you. Now as we wait to bring home your granddaughter from China, I can only wish she could have known you. You were so excited to meet her. Even though little Jiang Ting cannot hear, I know that you would get her giggling. She has truly lost a wonderful part of her family. But she will know you, Dad, I promise.

I don’t believe when someone dies that’s all there is and you would know better than all of us how true this is. It says in Philippians 1:21 “to live is Christ and to die is gain”. Your journey here has ended but you have found new life. You are not only at peace but you are surrounded by unspeakable beauty and great joy. No more pain racks your body, suffering is forever gone. You will have no more lonely days and nights and you have left behind all that is evil and entered into His love.

Daddy, I miss you and the laughter that you brought. But I will hold dear the good memories that you left behind. I will not say goodbye but only goodnight because I know that we will be together again. In the morning a new day has arisen and with that new beginnings. One day, I too, will end this journey and join you in Eternity. I love you Daddy – Good Night, I’ll see you in the morning.